Satan Begins Preparing Special Place in Hell for Celebrities Who Endorse Prediction Markets

LAKE OF FIRE, HADES - Surrounded by flaming paint swatches and scorching carpet samples, drops of drool dripped from Satans lips as he planned the special place he was designing for famous people featured in so-called trading apps.

"We're going to give these celebrities and sports stars a taste of what it's like to lose everything after not be able to accurately predict what happens next," the prominent ex-archangel said.

Deliveries of public benches with armrests, anti-homeless spikes and already-full, never emptied trash bins from the foremost hostile architecture firm were expected within the next week. Hell's best interior designers would then be tasked with upgrading the products with devices that produce a constant electric shock.

"What? You thought they would be living in homes down here? You thought it would just be a constant hot flash on a king sized memory foam mattress?" asked an incredulous Satan.

Construction workers were busy filling all possible pedestrian paths with giant boulders, set atop a permanent lava flow.

"Hell is a spectrum and these celebrities are going to get almost the worst possible experience we can create," said chief of staff Beelzebub, in a process he called Infernomaxxing.

"Obviously, it's not quite as bad as the places we created for Hitler and Henry Kissinger," said Satan. "Or the ones we're prepping for Trump and RFK Jr. But it's close."