eBay Sellers Pull Thrifted Winter Clothing Out of 10 Year Febreze Barrel Just in Time for the Holidays

KEYSTONE HEIGHTS, FL - The holidays are coming and clothing resellers are once again opening the Febreze-filled barrels of pre-worn clothing and removing them after a 10 year aging process. After a short drying period, many then turn to eBay, a site made popular by a Weird Al song in the late 1990s, to resell the clothes that originally were donated so that people in lower income brackets could buy nice clothes at an affordable price.

"My buyers absolutely opening their packages and being completely overwhelmed with a powerful scent of a chemical spring," said the owner of Martha's Treasures, based out of Florida.

"I'm up to over 1,000 customers fainting immediately upon cutting open the super cheap plastic bag I use to mail packages," said Jack, who wears a Hazmat suit while filling orders. "I'm hoping to get to 1,500 by the end of the year."

Some sellers find that they, too, are overwhelmed by the smell. In response, they have taken to covering up the smell of fabric freshener with an even fresher scent of an air freshener.

"I find that if I can focus on the scent of synthetic pine, it takes the edge off of the overpowering essence of whatever the hell it is they put in Febreze," said Teresa, who can now only enter her basement while wearing an oxygen mask. "I'll never be able to resell this house, but I'll always be able to resell these non-returnable clothes."

"I'm just hoping to be alive when the 25 year barrel is opened," said Barry, who talked to us over Zoom from the ICU. "I may have massive lung damage from lifelong use of air and fabric fresheners, but it's been worth it to get Febreze-drenched clothing to my customers."